Lead your team well beyond this Election Day

One thing you may not know about me is that I was a political science major in college. I have always geeked out on election night watching all of the results come in. Some people might think that political science majors only learn how the government works, but that was only about 25% of the coursework I took. 

My focus was actually in international relations, which if I could boil down all my courses to a common topic it would be this: Conflict. Studying how international governments responded was essentially a deep dive into human behavior and how these humans made policy and took action in times of conflict over scarce resources, different ideologies and advancement of goals. 

Right now, on Election Day, the energy in your house, your family or in your office might feel more like the latter - a conflict bubbling beneath the surface. Perhaps it's one you feel scared to discuss as a leader. This is normal - as politics has become more partisan in the last few cycles, and with the rise of social media, it can appear that the majority of us are on opposite ends of the spectrum. I know I have members of my family on polar opposite ends of the political spectrum. 

So while I don't have the magic advice to resolve the uncomfortable energy that a big election day can bring, I can pass along one of my favorite pieces of wisdom from Padmasree (Padma) Warrior, the CEO of Fable. Padma was formerly the CTO of Cisco and of Motorola. She is one of the small handfuls of female CEOs in tech leadership.  

I learned one of the most valuable leadership lessons from her when she reminded a group of global leaders, “It's tempting to think that since our colleagues are in China, that they want different things. But they don't. They are just people like us - and every person values being seen, heard and communicated with.”

When we're in conflict, it's tempting to think it's us vs. them. Or, that people have vastly different goals. But Padma reminded me that we can remain in firm alignment with our values and what we stand for WHILE ALSO finding the common humanity in us all. 

YOU are a leader in any place you influence others, and with that leadership, you are in control of your energy. We build bridges and relationships when we focus on what we have in common - and the biggest of those is our shared human values. 

And remember as a leader, YOU will likely have more influence on the work life of your team or organization than a politician ever will. So, even if the election doesn't turn out as you hope, find one place to positively influence policy in your workplace today.

PUT THIS IDEA INTO ACTION

Whether it's Election Day tensions or every day conflict, I know how hard it feels to find shared ground when you're feeling frustrated, angry or annoyed that someone isn't seeing things the way you see them. Lead by example by approaching the situation with compassion, curiosity and clarity:  

Compassion: The best, and hardest place, to begin is with emotional generosity. How can you give this person generous benefit of the doubt? 

• What are my real feelings toward this person? Name them.

• What are my real feelings toward this project? Name them.

  • Remember, naming your emotions doesn't give them power, it helps you clarify them as data points to inform you of what's important to you.

Naming your emotions helps you slow down to ensure you are coming from a creative and confident energy, not a fearful and resisting energy.

Curiosity: Next, focus on what deeply matters here. Consider your role in co-contributing to the conflict.

• What does this person care about?

• What are they trying to achieve?

• How am I owning my actions, behaviors and beliefs I have about this person that's keeping us in conflict? What is mine to change?

Clarity: Finally, focus on the the common problem/solution, not the person. 

• What are our shared goals or outcomes we desire? (i.e. results, customer success, etc)

• What shared values do we have? (i.e. integrity, high quality, transparency, etc)

• How can we be clear with one another on the outcomes we both want to achieve? What does success look like for both of us?

TRY THIS NEXT: Take some deep breaths when you feel triggered. Ask yourself, what are the common values that unite us here?