A tool to boost your influence at work

Last week, I lead a leadership workshop for a group of executive women leaders in Birmingham, AL. I always begin my longer workshops by asking the group what they hope to take away from the day. I hear common answers like how to influence, how to communicate confidently, how to be a leader others want to follow. But last week, as it seems to be a trend lately, the goal of this group was connection.  They felt lonely and wanted more support in their leadership journey…and just in life right now!

It's not uncommon. As women rise to higher levels of leadership, they often find themselves as “lonely onlies” - one of the only women on their leadership team or in the senior most meeting rooms. They are craving to find other women they can connect with, learn from and grow with - those who uniquely understand the challenges and opportunities of the corporate environment. 

As an entrepreneur, I've felt this, too. As my business grew, I realized that I didn't have any co-workers to confide in, lean into and seek counsel from. I had to go create this network on my own. I've joined business groups, leadership retreats and mastermind groups to create this support circle.

For the clients I coach who are advancing up the ladder in corporate, creating an intentional support structure is critical. Why? Because as you advance at work, you can find yourself as an “only” in the decision-making rooms. Perhaps you now manage the people who used to be your peers and your relationship has changed. You can't lean on them for support like you used to. 

As your level of decisions become larger and the stakes rise, challenging emotions come with that. And remember, men naturally have this support by nature they are already present with one another in most decision-making rooms.

I offered up also that we are in a new era of building relationships at work. With the rise of AI, people question if emails, videos, newsletters, etc are real or fake. With the rise of an AI world, people are craving real connection and we have to be proactive in cultivating these relationships. It's how deals get done, projects get awarded and people get promoted. 

So for women advancing into higher levels of leadership, how are you creating a network of support to help you advance? When doubt hits, have a trusted group of fellow  leaders to reach out to for help and empathy. How do you cultivate this? Keep reading and create your INFLUENCE MAP below.

PUT THIS IDEA INTO ACTION

A tool that I've been including in workshops lately is called an Influence Map. It is a visual representation of the relationships you hold in your organization or sphere of influence. Seeing this visually can help you discern how many advocates you have, who is unknown and where your blockers may be. 

Here's how to conduct one of your own so you can be intentional about cultivating the relationships that matter. 

1: List or map out on an org chart your key colleagues toward getting work done (up/down/across)

• Categorize them as:

  • Green (Mentor, Supporter)

  • Yellow (Neutral, doesn't know me) or

  • Red (Antagonist, Conflict)

2: Based on what you need to accomplish and through whom, ask yourself:

• How do you need to show up differently?

• With whom can you improve the relationship and how?

• Who can you leverage and how?

• Where can you clear up the past to improve the relationship?

• Who do you need to stop avoiding?

Your advocates can be critical in helping you build relationships across the organization and fix those that are strained. As you seek to leverage and build these relationships, consider what you also offer the relationship in return. 

Remember, if you can't find the support you want, perhaps this is an opportunity for YOU to create the relationships that are missing. 

TRY THIS NEXT: Choose one person in your 'yellow' group to connect with this week. How can you reach out to them for a mutually beneficial connection?

Kelli Thompson is an award-winning author, keynote speaker, and executive coach who specializes in helping high achievers advance to influential leaders in their organizations. She is the author of the critically acclaimed book, Closing The Confidence Gap: Boost Your Peace, Your Potential & Your Paycheck.

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