How to manage up at work

“How can I get ahead in my career when I feel like all of my and my leader's discussion time is spent putting out fires?”

Working for a leader whose tendency is to take meetings into a tactical turn, leaving no time for strategic discussion or professional development, isn't that uncommon. It is, however, a clue that it could be time for you to change your strategy towards managing up and refocusing what's in your control at work.

When it comes to managing up, I've had clients come to coaching sessions looking for help in working with a leader who:

• Communicates too much (micromanaging)

• Communicates not enough

• Doesn't give feedback

• Ignores big issues (or people)

• Over inflates small issues

• Runs meetings poorly

• …or is simply just not the leader they wouldn't have chosen.

A key mindset shift we all must learn as we advance in our career is this: You won't always have the leader you want, but many times you're given the leader you need. As you accelerate higher in the organization, it will be your responsibility to drive conversations upward, there are fewer people above you to do this for you.

In my own experience, I learned what not to do from some of my leaders from watching them and experiencing their behaviors. Some of the leaders I struggled with the most forced me to reckon with my own shortcomings, like withholding my wants and needs, under communicating my business plans, and honing my desire to act first and ask for permission later ;) 

We frequently learn as much from the leaders we struggle to connect with as we do from the ones we like the most. 

It's important to manage up well and focus on what is yours to own - like using your unique skills and talents to fill the gaps in which they fall short!

🔥 No matter what type of leader you have, it's important to ask: What's in my control and where do I have agency to make a positive impact? How can I be CLEAR on what I want, need and desire in my career?

PUT THIS IDEA INTO ACTION

Consider a work relationship that frustrates you or reflect on a previous relationship where you felt a lack of connection between you and your leader:

1. Clarity: Ambiguity creates animosity so success loves clarity here:

• Tell your leader:

  • How you prefer feedback.

  • What your career goals are.

  • How often you prefer communication and how. 

  • Your pet peeves and blind spots.

• Ask your leader:

  • How they prefer feedback

  • What success looks like in their eyes

  • How often they desire communication from you and how.

  • Their pet peeves and what you can avoid.

2. Compassion: Good news - we're all imperfect! 

• A great question Brene Brown reminds us to ask is this: How would you treat someone if you truly believed they were doing the best they could with the resources they've been given?

• Remember that when you communicate what you desire to your leader, it gives them permission to do the same.

3. Curiosity: What am I learning from this?

• What am I learning about myself and my own work habits?

• What new approach do I need to try?

• What's in my control and what action steps need to be taken?

At the end of the day it's important to remember that if your leader was perfect, it wouldn't give YOU the opportunity to use your unique skills and talents to fill the gap. 

Try this next: Instead of hoping your leader will change, what skill or talent can you put to use more frequently in the next few weeks to get what you need?