Why "just rest" isn't the best for burnout

The end of May always signals a winding down moment from one of the busiest times of year for me. I've learned the hard way that when I'm starting to feel the aches of burnout, I need to listen to them the first time and not when my body forces me to listen. For me, burnout typically shows up as feelings of resentment and annoyance. 

   Normal tasks starts to feel annoying and dreadful.

   My annoyance tolerance goes way down. 

   Normal and daily challenges just feel too much. 

Anyone feel me on these?

My daughter, who is nearing the end of cosmetology school and is pushing extra hard to get in some extra hours to move up her graduation date was also feeling this. When I saw her this week, I could see it in her face and body language - she was toast! I had a long conversation with her about getting some rest this weekend so she could come into this week with renewed energy for the home stretch towards her grad date.

I also realized that it was a good time to practice what I preach and not just focus on rest this weekend, but recovery. I deleted the email and contact apps off of my phone. My husband and I made plenty of plans for outdoor time activity time. We took meal shortcuts. I took intentional time to reflect on the first five months of the year and made some decisions on what to dump, delegate and outsource so I can remain in alignment with my values and how I want to feel.

Are you prioritizing not just rest, but recovery? And why is this so important for women? According to the Deloitte, 46% of women reported feeling burned out. The reasons for this is the inability to “switch off” from work and the burden of childcare and maintaining household tasks. It's hard to build sustainable confidence if you are overworked and overwhelmed.

Over 15 years ago, I started a daily morning habit - weight lifting. While I pause in between sets to catch my breath, it's not enough. One of the cardinal rules of weightlifting is to include full days of rest for recovery. Why? Because the process of lifting weights breaks down the muscle fibers - it actually damages them. 

However, with proper recovery like muscle rest, food, water, stretching and adequate sleep, those muscle fibers heal and grow back stronger. In fact, a lack of proper recovery leads to fatigue, illness, sleep disturbances, adrenal issues and even emotional health declines (ask me how I know 🫠 ). 

Pushing harder when we're already tired doesn't help us better solve problems or lead our teams confidently, it just makes us more anxious. For me, my best ideas often come after extended periods of not just rest, but recovery.

🔥 What is the difference between rest and recovery to you? See below for more hints and ways to put this into action.

PUT THIS IDEA INTO ACTION

So what does rest and recovery look like? I've compiled a list of my clients', and a few of my own, best practices. As a leader, how are you fostering rest and recovery on your own teams?  

Rest:

• 30 minute buffers in between meetings

• Blocking out a 3 hour chunk of time every week for strategy & planning, or just “thinking time” (CEO time)

• Delegating an assignment that is no longer a growth opportunity for you

• Designating one night per week for take-out / no plans / kids do the work

• Logging out of work email/messages after 6pm

• Taking a day or half-day off after a long week

• Allowing your kids/partner to imperfectly take over a chore for you

• Outsourcing something you dread

• Doing something just for fun at work with a co-worker / your team

Recovery:

• Taking a full week's vacation without logging into work

• Spending a full weekend doing everything you want to do, and not a think you feel like you “should” do (full disclosure: I recovered this weekend by having my cleaning lady come and bingeing two seasons of The Morning Show bookended by evenings with friends)

• Sleeping well, eating well, drinking enough water

• Accessing your company's mental health resources or seeing a therapist or coach

• Moving your body in a way that feels fun to you (walking, dance class, cooking, anything in nature, etc)

• Dropping something you dread and instead investing that time and energy in something you've always wanted to learn

• Traveling with someone you love to a place that has always interested you (and being present in the moments)

• Heeding this permission slip to drop your shoulds, set boundaries, articulate your desires and allowing others to do their share of the work (when you overfunction, it allows others to underfunction)

 💜 What would you add to these lists? Or, which one will you try this summer? I'd love to know!