Since you are a loyal reader of my blog, I wanted to let you in on some progress I'm making on my next book. (Warning, longer than normal post, but hope you love the sneak peak)

You may have noticed since the beginning of the year, I've been focusing on certain behaviors or “traps” that keep people stuck in their roles and not advancing at work. I wanted to summarize for you today the first four (and common!) traps I see leaders fall into as they work to level up their career.

The concepts that will fill this new book are coming from hundreds of conversations I've had with clients and leaders across the country. Essentially, many of them are asking the question:

If I'm so good at my job, why aren’t I getting promoted? 

It's such a common question so let's unpack this. When you take your first steps into leadership, it’s often assumed that a magic transformation happens overnight - that you’ll stop jumping into fix things, feel comfortable coaching your former peers and make tough decisions with ease. But it doesn’t work that way.

We spend most of our careers proving ourselves and earning accolades as the fixer, the achiever and the responsible one. So, when we advance into leadership, it can be hard to shed this identity and the rewards that come with it. 

Hardworking, humble and heads-down, we juggle managing our team while remaining a sought-after expert and go-to performer. We believe our results should speak for themselves. Then, we look up and realize something frustrating: people with less experience and dedication are moving past us. We aren’t accomplishing our strategic goals. Why? Because our willingness to do the work—and our hesitation to advocate for ourselves—has landed us an advancement trap. 

After coaching across industries and job levels, I’ve noticed four advancement traps that come up again and again. What’s sneaky is that these traps don’t feel bad at first—they’re rooted in things we pride ourselves on:

• Being dependable

• Being loyal

• Avoiding risk

• Supporting others

But in excess, these strengths become traps. And they tend to hit just when leaders are ready to move from high achiever to influential decision-maker. It's almost as if being too good in their role has hindered their leadership potential.

Here are the four traps I see most often—and what to do if you’re caught in one.

Trap 1. Too Good at Avoiding Risk

What it looks like: Carrie spent two decades working her way up at a community bank. Her detail-oriented, process-savvy skills made her the go-to person for high-stakes operational decisions. She was trusted, respected, and steady. But when the opportunity arose to move into more strategic leadership, she hesitated. Not because she didn’t think she was capable—but because it felt too vulnerable.

She didn’t struggle with imposter syndrome. She knew she could do it. But the "what-ifs" took over:

• What if I can’t handle the pressure?

• What if my team doesn’t respect me at this level?

• What if I fail?

This is what I call advancement anxiety: the future-oriented fear that comes when the next level of leadership feels less clear, more visible, and more scrutinized. The very risk-assessment skills that helped her rise were now being used to catastrophize.

Who this hits: Perfectionists, process lovers, and leaders in compliance-driven industries.

Why it happens: When control has always been your currency, ambiguity feels like chaos.

Tip to shift: Reframe.

• Instead of asking “What could go wrong?” ask “What might go right if I took this step?” 

• Write down three ways your success could positively impact your life, your team, or your organization.

Trap 2. Too Good at Supporting Others

What it looks like: Karen had built a career at her electronics company spanning nearly four decades. She trained dozens of leaders, helped scale the business globally, and led a business unit that brought in $140M in revenue. She was known for being an incredible team developer. So much so that she trained herself out of opportunities.

When a Senior Director role opened up—one she deeply wanted—two people she had trained were promoted over her. She admitted to me, “I probably over-train my people. I want my people to be ready, but I forget to raise my own hand.” She was so busy being indispensable to her team that she’d become invisible to senior leadership.

I also see this in leaders who over-function for underperforming employees. They want to be helpful and loyal, but they end up working harder on someone else’s career than that person does.

Who this hits: Caring, capable leaders who take pride in mentoring and team development.

Why it happens: It feels good to be needed. But you can’t carry everyone on your shoulders and still climb.

Tip to shift: Ask yourself: 

• Have I advocated for my own career in the last 30 days? 

Supporting others doesn’t mean disappearing yourself.  

Trap 3. Too Good at Being Loyal

What it looks like: Tanya had spent 15 years at her consulting firm. She loved the people, valued the flexibility as a single mom, and felt deeply loyal to the leaders who had supported her. But her new role didn’t fit. She wasn’t using her strengths, she felt burned out—and yet, she stayed.

Why? Because leaving would mean her team would need to find another new manager. And they’d already had three in as many years.

She told me, “They raised me. I can’t just walk away.”

But what she didn’t realize was that staying in a misaligned role—because of loyalty—was quietly stalling her advancement and draining her energy.

Who this hits: Long-tenured employees, especially leaders with close-knit teams or flexible arrangements

Why it happens: Loyalty feels noble. But when it overrides your goals, values, and health—it becomes a trap. It ends up hurting both parties.

Tip to shift: Run a commitment audit. 

• What roles, routines, or relationships am I staying in simply because I’ve always been in them? What’s working? What’s not? Where is there resentment?

Loyalty is powerful but it should be mutually energizing, not draining.

Trap 4. Too Good at Being the Expert

What it looks like: James was VP of Technology. Brilliant and calm under pressure, he was the the first call the CEO made when something broke.

Sounds ideal, right? But James was stuck. He was so good at doing and solving that he couldn’t find time to lead strategically. Promotions stalled. Influence plateaued. Sound familiar?

This one is personal. And common. I see so many high achievers who are masters at doing. They’re the fixer. The go-to. The “I’ll just handle it” person. I struggle with this one the most.

The problem? You get so good at doing that you never create space to lead.

You might be respected, but not seen as strategic. You’re valuable, but not visible. You’re over-relied on—but under-advancing.

Who this hits: Highly skilled, reliable leaders who get energy from being needed and helpful

Why it happens: You’re rewarded for execution. Until you’re expected to step back and influence—and no one taught you how.

Tip to shift: Audit your week. 

• What percentage of your time is spent fixing, helping, or handling things that someone else could own? 

• What would it look like to delegate just one of those tasks and spend that time on strategic thinking, stakeholder conversations, or idea-sharing?

If you want to lead, your impact has to scale beyond what you can personally execute.

The Bottom Line

If any of these traps feel familiar, you’re not alone and this is totally normal. At the core of it, being loyal, supportive, risk-aware, or capable aren’t problems, however, when they go unchecked, they can quietly keep you stuck in roles you’ve outgrown.

The shift from high achiever to influential leader requires consistent reflection and revision on how we are spending our time and energy.  

• So here’s what I’d love to know (feel free to reply or vote below):

  
  

  Which of these traps have you fallen into before? 

• What helped you break free?