How envy created an epiphany for me

Last year was a bit of a rollercoaster for my personal and professional life. We sold our suburban home, moved our college-age daughter out and settled into a temporary 1-bedroom condo in downtown Omaha. Professionally, with a new administration in place, a strong shift occurred in how organizations viewed, supported and funded their diversity programs. In short, this meant that many organizations were spending less on women's leadership initiatives. 

This massively impacted my business as I watched the amount of women's leadership presentations I conduct for corporations plummet (In sharp contrast, I luckily had a record number of 1-1 coaching clients).

Because of this, I doubled down on teaching a course I love, Advancing from Achiever to Leader. Since these tools are perfect for growing leaders no matter their gender, this was the most requested topic for corporate workshop this year…and the topic of my new book.

“This will be perfect!” Or so I thought.

Shortly after this pivot, I noticed some old health issues perk up. Over the course of the summer I also began to feel burned out. I was exhausted, sapped of creativity and struggling with heaviness and anxiety. Still, I kept trucking along. I blamed all my personal life shifts. I hadn't struggled with this since my corporate days.

Finally, at the end of July I took a week long staycation to unplug and rest. Around this same time, a consultant/author friend of mine, Shanna Hocking, released a compelling report on the state of women leaders in her industry. I was so geeked out to read her report and a bit envious that, despite all the headwinds on diversity and women's programs in our current environment, she was still laser focused in on serving the women leaders in her industry.

This envy gave me an epiphany, I am burned out.. but not from overwork. I'm suffering from a type of burnout I write about EXTENSIVELY (eye roll), rust out. It's what happens when we aren't working on projects aligned with our best skills and talents. 

In short, I'd lost sight of leading with my mission and using my best skills and talents of building leadership programs designed for corporate women. So, I made several hard decisions in the weeks that followed this aha moment including reworking some programs, stopping a book I was working on and launch a new women's leadership community. 

Here's the crazy thing, remember my health issues and burnout that had stalked me for MONTHS? Completely gone in three days.

Next to values, knowing your unique genius is a critical foundation for leadership clarity. This is the third core element of clear and confident leadership, Energetic Intelligence. Energetic intelligence means that you know what your unique talents are and what tasks surge your energy. Thus, you can say no to tasks/projects that drain you which run a huge risk for burnout.

While burnout from overworking gets most of the attention, burnout from RUST OUT is frequently the number one reason why women leaders seek me out for coaching - they've said yes to nearly every promotion or opportunity only to find that they've drifted away from work they truly love in exchange for a higher title or salary. 

Getting clear on your unique talents and how to design your work around them to create a career you love is KEY to a leader's ability to leave a legacy and have longevity in your career. 

🔥 Remember, no amount of money is worth the misery and life is too short to do work that drains you. Naming and claiming your specific unique talents helps you say yes to the right career opportunities and no to the wrong ones.

---

PUT THIS TIP INTO ACTION

When my dose of envy led to an epiphany that I was burnt out from rust out, the condition I write about frequently, I had to get my own tool kit back out and conduct an energy audit. Have you ever noticed that when you’re working on something you love, you lose track of time? Your energy is off the charts, it comes alive, and you can’t wait to dig in. This is a huge clue as to what is a unique talent for you and that you’re meant to use it on purpose. 

CONDUCT AN ENERGY AUDIT. Take a look at your last 45-60 days and notice your…

ENERGY SUCKERS | % of time spent _______________

These projects feel like they take heroine effort, even though the task wasn’t all that large or difficult. As you were doing a certain type of project, did it feel heavy and constrictive? Energy suckers are those projects that we may be fully capable of doing, but they zap our joy. 

ENERGY STALLERS | % of time spent _______________

These projects are tricky because they throw your energy into neutral. You don’t feel drained while doing them, but they don’t ignite your energy either. You’re good at these tasks, situations, or projects—in fact, you may have a higher level of ability than most people. Because you are competent at them, people may summon your help to do these projects often. But when you’re doing them, you feel like there is a part of you left unexpressed. In this bucket, your gut may be nudging you that there is something in you that’s overlooked and underutilized.  

ENERGY SURGERS | % of time spent _______________

These projects bring a paradox—they are challenging, but they make you feel amazing, in flow, and as your most creative self. You could work on these projects for hours and lose track of time. Working on these projects feels effortless, and when you’re done, your energy is better, not worse. They feel easy, fulfilling, and even fun, even though they may be challenging. Hence, they surge your energy—you feel light and free and still have your best self left after work to be engaged with your hobbies, friends, and family. 

Review your energy audit and try this next:

• Where are you spending the most of your time at work today? 

• Where should you be spending your time? 

• What would be different for you in your career and in your confidence if you could spend the majority of your time working with your energy surgers?

---

Kelli Thompson is an award-winning author, keynote speaker, and executive coach who specializes in helping high achievers advance to influential leaders in their organizations. She is the author of the critically acclaimed book, Closing The Confidence Gap: Boost Your Peace, Your Potential & Your Paycheck.

Learn more about: Executive Coaching | Speaking & Training | Group Programs