The "basic" leadership tool I do first with every client
- Kelli Thompson
- Feb 3
- 3 min read
The very first activity that I do with a new, 1-1 executive coaching client is to uncover and name their top five values. Honestly, my clients resist this exercise at first. They may often say that they've done this or that it feels basic. I get it. I don’t blame them, because I felt this way at one point, too. Values have been worn out by being plastered on corporate web pages as a virtue signal but optionally being followed through on. So why bother?
In your life, and especially as a woman in the workplace today who will make and influence many decisions, so many things will look right. Knowing your values gives you the discernment—not between right and wrong but between what looks right and what is right.
People are eager to give you advice on the best decision you should make, and it’s tempting to go along with popular opinion. There are just so many yeses and noes in a day. Your values inform you as to how you’ll show up and take action in executing that choice.
Knowing your values helps you choose your best yeses and noes, no matter what’s popular, culturally appealing, or demanded of you.
So at the end of our coaching relationship, guess what my clients say was their most valuable takeaway? Naming and claiming their values. Here's why:
Many times, their initial list of values was a list of their “shoulds." We get a layer deeper to remove all the shoulds and get to the core of what you truly stand for. This creates clarity.
When they know their values, it gives them permission to say no to the things that aren't in alignment with them. This creates peace.
When my clients are faced with ambiguity or challenges, they can lean on their values as a compass or map. They can take small steps in alignment with their values to find their way. This creates freedom and confidence.
🔥 At the end of the day, if you don't know what you stand for, what will you settle for? Values help you discern what you stand for as a leader so you aren't left tolerating less than you need, want and deserve. See below for some tools to help you claim your values so you know what you stand for as a leader.
PUT THIS TIP INTO ACTION
Want to figure out what you stand for as a leader so you can make clear and confident decisions that you feel good about, even when they're challenged? Start by naming and claiming your values:
STEP 1: Look for clues
Start noticing what must be present in your life and work to make it meaningful. Here are a few questions to help you reveal what may be values for you.
What do you want your life or work to stand for? What do you want to be known for as a person and a leader? (list some adjectives)
Notice also what makes you feel resentful or angry (it could signal a value being crossed).
What qualities do you admire in your favorite people and want to cultivate?
What must be present in your life or work to make it feel meaningful?
What are your nonnegotiable actions, behaviors, and traits in your life and work?
Don’t write what you think you have to do to make money or succeed in your culture—write what is deeply important to you. Choose words that feel deeply true for you, whether or not you, your family, or workplace has labeled them “acceptable.” Sit with each word and notice how you react. Do you tense up or feel drained? (Not a value.) Do you relax and feel purposeful, excited, free, or energetic? (Likely a value for you.)
STEP 2: Claim your values.
Narrow that list down to three to five. It can help to compare similar values together and choose which feels more freeing, energizing, or true for you.
Drop values you think you should have.
Which values, if you lived them, would make work and life most fulfilling for you?
TRY THIS NEXT:
To boost your peace, your potential, and your paycheck, it’s critical to know your right yeses and noes.
What can you cut from your life or work right now because it’s not in alignment with your values?
How can you make a leadership or work decision in alignment with your values?
Kelli Thompson is an award-winning author, keynote speaker, and executive coach who specializes in helping high achievers advance to influential leaders in their organizations. She is the author of the critically acclaimed book, Closing The Confidence Gap: Boost Your Peace, Your Potential & Your Paycheck.
Learn more about: Executive Coaching | Speaking & Training | Group Programs
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