When a strong personality throws off your presentation

One of my clients came to me right after a high stakes demo that had not gone the way she planned. She learned that an existing client of hers was seeking bids from competitors, so she had three business days to prepare a presentation to keep the contract. The stakes were high and she knew it.

She was presenting, doing what she was instructed to do. Then, in the middle of it, a strong personality in the room jumped in and started taking over, interrupting the flow of what she had planned.  She told me she panicked, "I just didn't know what to do. I started to freeze."

So many of us know this feeling! We walk into a room with someone who intimidates us, everything stops and our ideas and confidence shrink. We've put that person on a pedestal, overestimating that person's intelligence and what they have to contribute, and we underestimate our own knowledge, ideas and contributions. 

Sometimes people intimidate us simply because they have “rizz” as Gen Z would say (charisma). Sometimes they have organizational pull or connections. Sometimes it's their experience, title or credentials. This is normal.

She admitted that when there's a strong personality in the room, she gets so in her head, feels unsure of the value she's bringing, so she freezes and she can't pivot.

We've all had presentations that did not go as planned. Even I have presentations that do not go as planned and being more confident, faking it till you make it, that stuff doesn't work. 

Here's what I work through for my clients AND myself when I find myself in rooms where there is a big personality or a leader who intimidates - a model for remembering the unique value that ONLY YOU can bring to any situation. 

🔥 Have you ever frozen in a high stakes meeting because someone in the room intimidated you? Keep reading for the model I use to prep.

PUT THIS IDEA INTO ACTION

When you have to present in a high stakes meeting and you feel intimidated, here is the advocacy model I walk my clients through. It's the same model I use to prep for every single training I do.

1: Bring Authenticity: What's the thing that only you can bring? 

Before you open the Zoom or the Teams, remember the authentic skills and viewpoints that only you have. What data do only you have? What perspective do only you have? What skills do only you have that deserve a place in that meeting?

• My client realized her unique thing was the relationship and the 30 years of experience that taught her what good looks like.

• She didn't need to be the expert in sales. She needed to be confident in what she already knew about the client's quirks and preferences

2: Create Alignment: What's the energy you want to create in the room? 

Really the only thing you can control is how you show up. You can't control the client's responses, or other people's reactions and behaviors. So ask yourself, what are three words that describe who you want to be in that meeting?

• My client chose authentic, confident, and conversational.

• Remember, nobody wants to be presented to, they want to be connected with. People just want to feel seen, heard, and understood.

  
  

3: Identify Action: Based on the unique perspective you bring and the energy you want in the room, what is yours to say? And maybe more importantly, what is not yours to say?

• Let the big energy people do and sell their thing. Get clear on the moments where YOU need to speak up.

• A lot of my clients get wrapped around the axle of perfection versus connection. It's about connection over perfection.

TRY THIS NEXT: Before your next high stakes meeting, write down one thing: the unique skill, perspective, or experience that only you can bring to that room. When the intimidating person's energy starts to fill the space, come back to your thing and remember, that's their energy, not yours.

Kelli Thompson is an award-winning author, keynote speaker, and executive coach who specializes in helping high achievers advance to influential leaders in their organizations. She is the author of the critically acclaimed book, Closing The Confidence Gap: Boost Your Peace, Your Potential & Your Paycheck.

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